Questions

When you make the transition into management, and have people reporting to you for the first time, you will notice several significant changes in your day-to-day activities:

• You are less involved in the direct work of your team/department.
• You spend significantly more time in meetings, and generally deal with more administrative responsibilities.
• There is a multiplicity of constituent needs to balance.
• You are responsible for the work of a group, not just your own activities.
• Supervising people takes a lot of time.
• You don’t get instant gratification from your role.

Even though these are significant changes, the expectation, whether reasonable or not, will be that you can start immediately and adjust quickly. Most new managers feel like they have been thrown into an ocean and told to sink or swim. Be prepared for this to be a major, intense transition in your career.

If you don’t have access to a formal mentoring program at work, you can seek out mentors from your circle of contacts. Before you embark on this search, consider what objectives you have in seeking out a mentor. For example, if you are interested in a particular industry, finding a mentor who is well established in that industry would be very advantageous. If you are interested in finding a job, you may want to seek out someone who can connect you to possible employers. If you are interested in becoming an entrepreneur, seeking a mentor who is or has been a successful entrepreneur will be helpful. Think about all the people you know including friends, friends’ parents or siblings, family members, colleagues and acquaintances. You can either ask people in this group to be a mentor, or you can ask them if they know someone that would be helpful to you in this regard.

This is really about basic respect. It’s unfortunate, but the principle of respect can be lost when the culture of an organization allows behaviours like yelling, swearing, or denigrating others to occur unchecked. This is totally inappropriate, but once it is imbedded in the culture, people lose themselves and start to behave in the pattern that’s been established. Don’t succumb to this. If any of the activity is actually in violation of a company policy, you can review the process for filing a complaint, or at minimum, make your personnel department aware of what is going on. You can also speak to your supervisor about your concerns and ask for advice. It is also totally appropriate to speak directly to the people involved and express your concern about their behaviour.

When addressing a concern with a colleague, try to be direct, objective and clear while showing concern for the other person. For example, you could say something like “Sara, you are the biggest complainer on the planet, it’s ridiculous!” Sara will likely dismiss your complaint or get her defences up. Another approach is to say, in private, “Sara, you are a great member of our team. I have some feedback for you that I think will make you even better. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but you often complain to others, which leaves them feeling negative about the great work the team is doing. Would you consider trying to complain less?” This approach is direct, objective, clear and shows concern for Sara. While she may not like what you’ve said, she’s probably going to be more aware when she complains. If you’re going to address an issue, remember to separate the hard facts from your emotions or projections. The facts will keep the conversation grounded, particularly if it is difficult. A tough message can always be delivered with honesty, integrity and an intention to be of benefit to the other person.

Ironically, work-life balance is a lot of work. It takes discipline and a willingness to make changes in your life. You can start by taking stock. Try recording where you spend your time currently, this is your baseline. Now write down all the things that are important to you and how much time you would like to spend on each. Take a look at your two lists, the one with the things you are doing now, and the one with what you would like to be doing. The gaps will be evident. You can now work towards realigning your life to your true priorities. Keeping balanced requires you to give yourself permission to work toward what you want, permission to say no to people, permission to set parameters, and permission to stop doing things. Maintaining work-life balance also requires creativity in finding ways to achieve what you desire, particularly if it involves negotiating time off or changes in your work schedule.

Staying calm is desirable because it helps you physically and emotionally and it helps the work environment overall. Staying calm is something that you can work on and improve over time. Here are a few tips:

• Breathe. Breathing is powerful, simple, highly effective, and always available. Before you make a comment back to a person who you think has slighted you or before you hit ‘send’ on that fuming email, take three deep breaths. You’ll be clearer and feel better.
• Use humour. Humour is a fabulous way to infuse positive energy into a workplace. It can lighten up a tense situation and create more spaciousness.
• “It’s not about me.” When conflict, tension or frustration comes up, say this phrase in your head. It will help redirect your energy away from your immediate emotions. You can start to see there are two separate things, the situation that happened and your emotional reaction to it. Over time, you can develop more control over your reaction.

One strategy is what I call “Empathize and Redirect”. When a conflict arises between you and someone else, you can recognize that the other person is feeling threatened in some way. Maybe she or he is afraid of losing control or afraid of losing status or afraid of being blamed. That person’s reaction will trigger your fear of conflict. Instead of focusing on what is going on with you, try to connect with what is happening with the other person. In the instant of confrontation, you can feel the connection between you, the camaraderie of both having your fears rise up. You can empathize with the other person. You can then verbalize this empathy by saying things like, “I appreciate how you are feeling” or “I’m grateful you shared that with me.” The next step is to redirect the person to an alternative, to another person, or to a next step. For example, you might say “I value your input on this, perhaps we could talk further about it in the next team meeting.” or “Thank you for your thoughts, I’d like to run your idea by my supervisor.” By empathizing and redirecting the person, you can defuse a tense situation while not losing yourself in the process.

Why not take some initiative? Do you have a social committee? If not can you start one? Ask if your boss will let you do a quick survey to find out what people would like to do. There are lots of cheap and cheerful ways to have more fun at work. You could:

• Enter your team in a charity fundraiser
• Have a pot luck lunch
• Organize a Lunch & Learn
• Play Pictionary or charades
• Start a book club
• Exchange recipes, cookies, etc.
• Watch a funny video together
• Go bowling together

It is useful to ask yourself “What are the exact reasons that I hate my job?” By knowing the answer to this question, you can consider whether the reasons can be alleviated in your current role. For example, if you don’t think you are challenged enough, have you spoken to your boss and asked for more challenging assignments? If you don’t think you’re learning enough have you asked to take more courses? If you dislike your boss, have you tried to see the positive qualities and ensured that you have learned all you can from her or him? If the reasons you hate the job can’t be resolved, it’s probably time to leave and find an opportunity elsewhere. However, don’t lose the valuable lessons from this experience. As you seek out your new opportunity, be mindful of the things that you now know you hate or don’t want in your next role.

Appreciating diversity means truly respecting every distinct element of diversity within your team: diversity of culture, diversity of language, diversity of experience, diversity of opinion, age diversity, gender diversity, geographic diversity. If your team is having trouble working with its diversity, consider how you can get to the heart of the issue. If the situation is fairly tense, you could hire a facilitator who specializes in building diverse teams. If you feel there is enough trust in the team, you could hold a special meeting for your team to discuss the issue. For example, each person could be asked to answer the question “Why aren’t we performing as well together as we could”? You could conduct an anonymous survey with the team and ask people to rank how they feel the team is working together and how they think the team could be working together. You could also ask some open ended questions to try to get to the heart of what is happening with the team dynamic. By getting to the heart of why the team is not getting along, the solutions will become self-evident.

This is a time to really look at your situation and do some self-reflection. If you want to keep your job, you can ask yourself “What do I need in order to feel competent in my job?” Your answer might include things like:

• Get more training.
• Have someone shadow me and help me improve my processes.
• Reduce my workload.
• Be assigned a mentor to assist me.
• Remove one element of my role that is significantly different and much more difficult than the rest of my role.
• Have more regular face to face time with my boss to review my work.
• Armed with your list, you need to have an open and direct discussion with your boss in order to fully explore the situation and the possible solutions that you are bringing forward. Most bosses would be delighted to have a staff person bring this kind of thoughtful discussion to them. If, on the other hand, you have been provided feedback and resources and you are choosing not to change, or you aren’t capable of changing, it‘s probably time to look for a new job.

Don’t panic. Although you may feel some level of anxiety, a performance review is a fantastic opportunity to better understand what you are good at and what areas you can improve upon. Be prepared to listen to what is presented to you. You may be surprised by something that is said. You can simply acknowledge it. It’s not the time to argue about it. You will need more time to digest and process the information you receive. If during the review, you don’t feel that you understand something, ask for specific examples or clarification. This is also the best time to bring up issues with your boss, areas of concern you have, ideas, and any special requests such as a new project you want to be involved in or your desire to change your hours on Wednesdays. Consider if there are certain skills you would like to develop or training that you would like to take. This is also a great time to touch in on how things are going from a communication and work flow perspective. You can ask if you are meeting your boss’s expectations and if there is anything she or he would like to see you do differently. This may also be the appropriate time to bring up your pay and ask for a raise. Spend the time in advance thinking about what areas you want to discuss during your performance review.

You are likely getting warning signs that your organization is about to the pull the plug. It may be related to a broader issue, like the financial state of the company, or perhaps a restructuring. Alternatively, you may feel a deterioration of the fit between you and the company due to your poor performance review and/or the lack of straightforward communication from your boss. If it is the latter, this is an opportunity to self-reflect and re-evaluate your situation. Can you turn things around? For example, if you have received a poor performance review, do you have the energy and skills to step up and improve? If you do, you need to have a direct and honest discussion with your boss. If you don’t, you may want to get advice on how to depart. In any case, you will want to prepare for a potential loss of income:

• Assess your expenditures and see where you can reduce or eliminate payments;
• Ensure that your resume is up to date and ready to go;
• Start thinking about who can be a reference for you;
• Start searching for an alternative job, through internet searches, speaking to people and/or contacting head hunters.

You can build you skills formally, through training and education opportunities. You can build your skills through practice with follow up feedback. For example, you can take opportunities to speak to a group and ask for feedback afterwards. You can practice your written skills through writing memos or letters and again, asking for feedback. You can learn skills from your boss or coworkers by asking questions and observing how they complete tasks. You can also develop skills by doing new things; for example, joining a committee or leading a project. There is always lots of learning in your mistakes. You can research and read about areas that you are unfamiliar with in order to increase your knowledge. You can also volunteer to be on Board of Directors, which is a rich environment for learning.

Often people have strengths that can be further developed in order to achieve greater success and job satisfaction. Some insight about your strengths may be available from your performance review or from informal feedback you receive. You may get insight from others who you are in contact with. You can also ask people close to you what they think your strengths are. Ask your family members or your friends what they think you are good at and what they think your strengths are. Even if the feedback is not directly work-related, you will get some insight. Another way to reflect on what your strengths are is to identify when you feel the most confident in your job. What tasks or activities make you feel happy and fulfilled when you are doing them? Together with the input you received from others, this should give you a good start on knowing what your strengths are.

Showing initiative at work is a great way to get noticed, especially if it is done in a collaborative way. So jump in, and don’t be afraid to offer your assistance. If your organization has any committees or taskforces, consider joining one. You can take initiative by bringing forward an idea to your boss or team, such as making an improvement to a process or trying something new and innovative. Stay open to opportunities to take initiative, for example, if a minute taker is required or there’s a request for someone to do some research on a topic, raise your hand and offer to do it. It’s also a good idea to let your boss know that you are open to learning new things and working on a new project. Showing initiative also means asking questions, being curious about what is going on and being inquisitive about how to do things. Ask lots of questions. Self-initiative includes taking the time to research things you don’t know about or don’t understand, reading relevant books and articles and educating yourself as much as possible about your job, your organization, your competitors and your sector.

It’s important to familiarize yourself with your boss’s style and expectations. The best way to do this is by both observing and asking questions. For example, you may notice that your boss is very organized and likes to have agendas and minutes for meetings out well ahead of time. It’s important for you to model this if you have a chance to organize the meeting. If you are working on a project or conducting some research for your boss, ask how she or he would like the results presented back. You don’t want to write an essay if your boss only wants a briefing note. Regular interaction is important in order to make sure that the two of you stay on the same page, so find out what the best method of communication is. Does your boss prefer getting email from you? Does your boss have an open door policy and prefer you to drop in? Does your boss prefer a more formal face to face meeting that is scheduled in advance? Find the best way to communicate with your boss so that you have a regular exchange of information and opportunities to ask questions and seek guidance.

Organizations have different ways of implementing pay increases. Assuming you are able to work directly with your boss, you need to set up a meeting to discuss your pay. Prior to the meeting, think through exactly what you are looking for and what is most important to you. This might include an increase to your base pay, but could also include a discussion of a bonus or profit sharing as well as other benefits such as number of vacation days, ability to work from home, or flexible hours. Be as informed as possible by trying to find out information like rates of pay for comparable positions. You could ask working colleagues what their pay ranges are, and what benefits they receive. Work collaboratively and respectfully with your boss to come to a fair and equitable agreement. If there doesn’t seem to be room in the current role for a pay increase, ask your boss or the personnel department what you need to do to earn more money. Perhaps you need a role with more responsibility, or there may be more lucrative opportunities in other divisions of the company.

Think about who you know right now. This includes friends, family, co-workers, friends’ parents or siblings, past colleagues, etc. This is your starting point, your initial network. From here, there are lots of things you can do build your network. At work, join committees or taskforces so that you meet new people from the organization. Volunteer to organize a social event, or volunteer with a charity of your choice. There are numerous social network websites that you can join. You can attend network events, such as those for your industry or related to personal interests that you have. You can ask your current contacts if they know of people that you could meet with or speak to. Over time, as your network grows, be sure to stay in touch with people who might be able to help you in the future or who you feel are important to maintain a good relationship.